


Honesty

by orphan_account



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, Sexy Zone
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-30 01:58:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fuma and Kento never fight, so when they suddenly do, Fuma is not quite sure what to make out of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honesty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [B-Chan & Yumi (Because they helped me design a story line to the interview)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=B-Chan+%26+Yumi+%28Because+they+helped+me+design+a+story+line+to+the+interview%29), [(and because they dealed with my whining about it)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=%28and+because+they+dealed+with+my+whining+about+it%29).



> Hey everyone!  
> Yes, another unplanned FumaKen, but this one seriously wasn't my fault! It was all caused by that interview here: http://vflmaeuschen.tumblr.com/post/64564303773/fumaken-interview-from-popolo-december-2013  
> Because Kento crying in a fucking interview and Fuma saying such sweet things is not something I can just ignore, okay?!   
> Hope you enjoy my version of what might have happened before this interview ;)

Fuma’s POV

„What do you mean, Nakajima won’t come to Okinawa with us?!“ I asked incredulous, making my sister look up from the tea party she was having with Teddy and Dolly to look up at me on the phone questioningly. “It was planned as a group project, he can’t just cancel it!”

“It’s not like he _wanted_ to cancel, Kikuchi-Kun!” Our manager said reproachfully. “But we went through his schedule, and with the Gin no Saji filming and the Bad Boys J Movie promotion, it just couldn’t be squeezed in!”

“But this is a _band documentary_!” I argued angrily. “We’re doing so many things in groups instead of as a whole band lately, what will the fans think if we keep this up?!”

“It can’t be helped, this is what the business is like!” he answered impatiently. “You have your acting jobs and the band and university and school, of course there will always be conflicts in your schedules! All we can do is try to keep them to a minimum.”

I glared into nothing, not answering, and my sister pulled at the seam of my pants and held out an empty toy tea cup to me. I took it, sending a tired smile to her before tuning in on what the manager was saying again.

“Anyways, I’ll keep the rest of you updated for dates. We’re still having trouble with Shori and Sou as well, so we’ll have to see how many of you can actually go to Okinawa, in the end. I’ll call you with more details at the end of the week?”

“Yeah” I sighed with a frown that didn’t seem to disappear as we ended the call. 

“Is Nii-Chan angry?” my sister asked quietly, looking at me with big eyes.

“A little” I nodded, giving her the tea cup back. “I’m sorry, but Nii-chan needs to call someone now. We can play later, okay?”

“Okay” she nodded, turning back to her toys, and I stood up, quick-dialing Nakajima’s number as I made my way up to my room. 

At first, I thought he would not pick up, like so often lately, but just when I was about to give up I heard his breathless voice. 

“Yes? Fuma?”

“Hey” I said, closing the door behind me. “What is this about you not coming to Okinawa with us?”

“Oh, that” Nakajima said with a sigh. “I’m sorry, we tried, but I just can’t seem to make time for it.”

“We have summer holidays, why can you not even make time for something like this?!” I argued.

“It’s a huge project, it would take up almost a week!” Nakajima reminded me. “And you know I have a lot down my back lately!”

“It would be 3 or 4 days” I corrected him. “How much more band stuff do you want to miss?!”

“I’m sorry, okay?!” Nakajima said defensively. “I’m really trying my best!”

“But your best is not enough at the moment!” I pointed out angrily. “We keep doing stuff separately, there is always someone missing! Our band has never had the most stabile bonds, but we’re all trying our best to fix this, and if our leader keeps taking care of his own business instead of the band we will end up like NEWS or KAT-TUN!”

“Okay, stop here!” Nakajima said loudly. “This is not fair! Just because I’m taking up some acting roles I am not forgetting the band! But I have aims and I thought you understood that!”

“I do, but you have to stop to think about us as well!” I called. “And you being gone all the time is really becoming a problem for us!”

“What do you want from me?!” Nakajima called. “I told you I’m trying my best, but I can’t just magically make time, damnit!”

“Then set your priorities right!” I groaned. “This is _your_ band as well as mine, you should know how much this is worth to you!”

There were loud voices at Nakajima’s end of the line, and a loud groan before he murmured: “I have to go now, I’m actually working!”

“Fine, go” I said sarcastically. Nakajima did not say anymore before he hung up. 

I huffed and glared angrily into space, feeling like a heavy weight was pressing down on my chest. Nakajima and I did not fight often, not at all. And if we did, we mostly talked things over until we found some kind of agreement. Parting ways with him like that was not something I was used to, not at all, and it set me off a little. 

I was torn out of my thoughts by a low knock on my door. When I opened it, there was no one on the other side, but I found a cookie on a toy plate on the floor. 

***

Nakajima was not the only one unable to go to Okinawa, as it turned out – Sou also ended up not going, for some issues with his school, and even Shori followed Marius and me only a day later because of filming schedules for his new drama. It made me feel a little guilty for snapping at Nakajima like that, even if I still thought that I had a point.

Nakajima and I had not really talked after our fight 2 weeks ago, but we had also not seen each other, since he was still in Hokkaido filming for his tanpatsu, not about to return until the end of the week. 

The silence between us seemed to tire me out increasingly, even if I tried my best not to think of him much during my time in Okinawa. And the new surroundings and Marius’ cheerful mood kept me distracted for most of the time, but there were just some moments when I really really wanted Nakajima around, and it felt like a stone in my stomach. 

He was my best friend, after all, and not talking to him like that hurt a little, even if I didn’t want to admit it. 

So at the end of our journey, when we had had barbecue and fireworks, I ended up snatching a photo of Okinawa’s sunset with my phone and typing a message.

“ _Okinawa is nice, we went to the Churaumi Aquarium and did some water sports and other fun stuff. And Marius didn’t drown :) How are things at yours?_

_[Click to open attachment]_

_… I’m sorry about our fight.”_

I stared at the message for at least 5 minutes before sending it. It didn’t take more than 2 minutes for Nakajima to answer with a picture of the almost dark Hokkaido skyline himself.

_“Glad to hear you are all safe and had fun. I had to think of you a lot._

_Things here are going okay._

_I’m sorry, too.”_

It made me feel a little lighter, even if I was still not quite able to sleep well that night, though I did not know why.

***

After those messages, the atmosphere was calm the next times we saw each other, at least on the surface, but something about it was awkward and stiff, very unlike us. 

There were a lot of things I would have loved to say to Nakajima, a lot of things I would have liked to clear up with him, but somehow, I was scared of approaching him and starting a fight again, and Nakajima never confronted me out of his own initiative either. 

Nakajima was always one to avoid fights, rather nodding his head and staying quiet instead of saying what was on his mind no matter the consequences. Unlike me.

But the longer the situation lasted, the more I wondered if maybe, we _needed_ to fight. Needed to state everything we thought clearly just to have it out for once and for all, and start working things out together. 

Above all, I just wanted to talk to Nakajima again normally. But I never seemed to quite find an opportunity to address things, and also, the longer I watched him, the more I lost courage to do it.

Because looking at Nakajima closely, he just looked incredibly _tired_ these days. He was thin and pale and the staff had trouble to hide the dark rings of exhaustion under his eyes even with tons of makeup. 

It made me feel even guiltier for fighting with him about schedules and work, because obviously, he _was_ doing his best. He seemed to be pushing himself to a point where it was almost too much as it was, and instead of understanding that, I had tried to demand even more of him.

But I did not want him to do _more_. I did not want to burden him in any way, and the last I wanted was to make his life even harder with another fight. 

But I couldn’t deny the fact that I was worried, because this situation was everything but ideal. We didn’t fight, but we also didn’t talk much, at least not about important things, and it didn’t help any of us. I could not be there for Nakajima like this when he needed me, either. 

I knew all of this, but I was not quite sure what to do about it.

***

It really hit me how my feelings had begun to eat me up when I sat together with one half of A.B.C-Z during Shokura shooting (of which Nakajima had been absent, once again), just chatting about people of the jimusho, and the subject somehow turned to Nakajima.

“But that guy is strange, after all” Kawai chuckled in that snappy manner he sometimes had. “He doesn’t seem to have any sense of shame or something, sometimes the way he talks gives me creeps.”

“This is just his stage persona” I said automatically, all of a sudden feeling a tight knot of annoyance in my stomach. “You realize that, don’t you?”

“In an agency like ours, the line between what’s for the camera and what’s real is very thin, if I may remind you” he scoffed. “Not everything is only for the camera, Fuma-kun!”

“I know very well what part of Nakajima is real and what is not, thank you very much!” I snapped, surprising myself with the overwhelming strength of my sudden anger. 

The atmosphere in our group cooled off noticeably in a matter of seconds, from light and teasing to tense, and Kawai said with a little snort: “You know that I’m joking, right, Fuma-kun?”

“Yeah, sure” I sighed, still annoyed but also slightly embarrassed now, and Totsuka quickly changed the subject. 

I did not talk to Kawai for the rest of the day, anger brewing up inside of me again every time I looked at him. Kawai did not know Nakajima like I did, only knew him from work – of course he could not tell much about his character. Nakajima was professional through and through, your near-perfect idol, and he would not show much of his real self to everyone. 

So what right did he have to talk about Nakajima like that? None.

Kawai approached me on the way home anyways, catching me even when I tried to run.

“Listen, I don’t want any hard feelings between us” he said simply. “I did really not mean to talk badly about Kento-kun, okay? It was just the usual fun. You’re making fun of him too, sometimes!”

“That’s different!” I said automatically. 

“Why? Because only you are allowed to do it?!” Kawai scoffed with a grin, and I only frowned, not quite sure what to answer. 

Because in some way… he was right. I made fun of Nakajima all the time, about the way he would spurt sweet nothings out of nowhere, about the way he pulled the cheesiest things off effortlessly when they made others shudder… But yeah, I _knew_ him. I knew it was just his stage persona, and that in reality, he indeed got embarrassed and awkward. 

That he got more insecure than I was comfortable with, sometimes, and the thought that people who didn’t really know him talked badly behind his back really made me incredibly angry.

I did say none of this to Kawai, though, and we parted ways with a smile. It made me wish that Nakajima would just approach me as openly as Kawai to get troubles out of the way. It would make things a lot easier.

***

It still took me one more week, though, before I was finally able to do something about our situation. It happened about something as normal as choosing courses for the next semester at university, but I felt like it could have been any other situation as well.

It was just that I was indecisive because my study schedule was tight and demanded of me to take lots of courses for the next year, something I was very insecure about. Until now I had tried to keep my number of courses to a minimum, afraid of it getting in the way of my job. Now I seemed to find no way around taking more of them, demanding a time of me I was not sure that I had.

It was then, that I really felt the need to talk to Nakajima. Not only because he was in the same situation, knowing how hard it was to balance university and work, but just because he was my best friend and I always ended up talking about important things like these to him. It just reassured me discussing it with him first before making a choice. 

And now, I was sitting here, wanting nothing more than to just call him, but not being sure if I really could, with the way things were going between us lately.

It was then, that I decided things had gotten too far. Nakajima was important to me, and I needed him in my life, and we were not going to let something like this get in between us. I treasured our friendship too much for that.

So I packed my things and 20 minutes later, I stood in front of the Nakajimas’ door. I was lucky because I had not been quite sure if Nakajima was even at home when I had left the house, but calling him would have kind of defeated my intention of not even giving him a chance to wriggle out of that talk we were going to have. But when I rang the doorbell, he was the one to open it, all snug in jogging pants and Hey! Say! JUMP Tour Shirt, indicating that he had nowhere to be for the rest of the afternoon.

“Fuma?” he blinked when he recognized me, his eyes widening. “What are you doing here?”

“We need to talk” I said firmly, not wanting to waste any time, and Nakajima tensed slightly at my words. “You know we do.”

Nakajima sighed before nodding, opening the door wider to let me inside.

“I guess you are right” he murmured, watching me with a tired face as I slipped out of my shoes. If possible, he looked more exhausted than ever.

We were quiet on the way up to his room, and when he closed the door behind us, he quickly hurried to his bed to pack what seemed like tons of the university material of his last semester spread all over it.

I came over to help him, and he shot me a thankful smile as I handed him a couple of books before sitting down on the now free space, watching Nakajima buzz around the room for a minute longer before sitting down next to me. 

There was a moment of silence, before I said, quietly but firmly: “Things have not been going well ever since that one time we fought over the telephone.”

“No” Nakajima agreed with a sigh. “We also never really talked about it.”

“I wanted to talk about it” I pointed out. “But I felt like you didn’t, so I kept quiet, and somehow… it became awkward.”

“I didn’t know what to say to you” Nakajima murmured uncomfortably. “I felt like you were still kind of mad at me, and…”

“I’m not mad at you” I sighed. “How can I? You look like a walking dead lately.” When Nakajima didn’t answer, I continued: “I get that you’re really stressed out, and maybe I was not quite fair to you when I called you that day. I’m just worried about our band, that’s all.”

“I get that you’re worried” Nakajima murmured, his voice strangely tight. “But I just… I don’t know, I don’t have it in me to pay so much mind to band stuff at the moment. I don’t even get my own stuff organized right now. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going anymore, I’m standing beside myself. It’s just-“

“I noticed that” I said softly. “You’re overworking yourself.”

Nakajima choked at his own breath, balling his fist, his shoulders tense, and suddenly I knew what was happening. I saw something glisten in his eyes and everything inside of me tightened.

I reached out, my own hand closing around his slightly shaking fist. 

“Talk to me” I said quietly. “You are important to me, and I hate to see you suffer. I hate not being able to reach you.”

It was then, that a tear slipped Nakajima’s eyes, and I reached out with his other hand to pull him into me. 

Nakajima took a shaky breath before he leaned his forehead against my shoulder tentatively.

“I don’t know, it’s just that my whole life is slipping out of my fingers at the moment, and I am just following the flow, trying to get it under control again” Nakajima whispered, and I tightened my grip around him. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“You have to start setting yourself limits” I said firmly. “This is why I was putting so much importance to the band lately. I want us to become a group which can catch us when something is becoming too much. But this won’t happen if we keep working separately. How can we form bonds we can put our trust on like this?”

Nakajima only nodded fuzzily, and I sighed, fisting his shirt in frustration.

“But I guess I only made things worse, in the end” I murmured. “Here I’m talking about bonds and catching people when I’ve not done much to catch my best friend when he was feeling shitty.”

“I didn’t even talk to you, how were you supposed to know?” Nakajima murmured.

“But I _knew_ ” I protested. “I just didn’t say anything because I didn’t know how. We need to be more honest with each other from now on.”

“Okay” Nakajima nodded, and when I pulled away to look at his face, his eyes were puffy and red and everything inside of me tightened.

I had not even realized I had reached out to touch his skin until my fingers were skimming over his cheekbone, wiping away a stray tear. 

Nakajima blinked, catching my eyes, and suddenly, I found it hard to breathe for a moment. I wondered if it was because I had not really met his eyes for weeks or because I had never seen him cry because of me before, or… 

But then Nakajima’s hand tightened on my shoulder and it was like he was speaking to me through his eyes and suddenly I knew exactly what was happening. 

And without questioning it, I leaned in, meeting Nakajima halfway as our lips met. 

Nakajima let out a soft noise as our lips moved against each other, and my hand went from his face to his hair, holding him close as I let my feelings crush down on me. 

Everything that had weighted me down in the last few weeks seemed to have been lifted off my chest suddenly, and kissing Nakajima felt as right as nothing had in a long, long time. 

When we broke apart, and I opened my eyes again to see his slowly fluttering open as well, looking slightly dazed, and I couldn’t help but smile softly at him.

“We should have talked way earlier” I murmured, my voice weirdly rough, and Nakajima chuckled, and I was glad to see the light returning to his eyes.

It made me lean in again for another kiss, this time more demanding, wanting to feel more of Nakajima, if not as much as possible. Nakajima’s arms tightened around me, signaling me that he had similar thoughts, and then I felt his tongue brushing me lower lip softly. 

I opened my mouth to meet him, groaning low in my throat as I felt the next brush of his tongue against my own. 

There was a tenderness between us that I had not even known I had inside of me as we kissed like that, holding each other tightly. I had always kind of known that Nakajima was important to me, increasingly so in the last 2 years, but I had never quite realized just what this feeling was until this very moment. 

It made me want to never let anything come between us. To never let go of him again.

I could not even seem to stop kissing him when we broke apart for air, instead kissing down his jaw to his neck and up to nibble on his ear lobe again. Nakajima whispered my name and shuddered in my arms.

“Please promise me we’ll never fight again” he murmured fuzzily. “I really can’t take that.”

“We will probably fight at some point, knowing us” I murmured, tightening my grip around him. “But if we just talk openly if we do right away, I think it’s fine.”

Nakajima tightened his grip around my shoulders, and I licked the shell of his ear, making him gasp. 

“You have no idea how long I already wanted this, Fuma” Nakajima murmured with another shudder, and the words sat a little uncomfortably in my stomach as I processed them.

“You did?” I whispered, making him shudder as my breath hit his ear. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, does it?” Nakajima hummed, and I returned to his mouth quickly to catch him in a more passionate kiss. 

We kept kissing until the next thing I knew, we were spread over his bed, our shirts lost somewhere along the way and Kento was squirming under me, occasionally gasping my name in a desperate way and it made me want to never stop touching him again.

Being with him like this had me fascinated in an odd kind of way – his skin was soft and he was extremely response whenever I ran my palm over it. His voice turned just that tiny bit higher every time I touched his nipples, and his muscles quivered when my touch strayed over his belly. 

“Fuma” Kento whispered, his fingers digging into my shoulder blades. “I want you. Now.”

I nodded shakily, not trusting myself to speak at the lust that spread through me at his words, going straight down to where I was already rubbing against the bulge in his pants. 

Without further thought I let my fingers wander just that tiny bit lower, hooking into the waistband of his boxers to pull them down. 

Kento lifted his hips to help me, and then sat up himself to attack my own jeans with shaky fingers. I had to help him because he got impatient and fumbled a little too clumsily, but when even the last bit of cloth was finally out of the way, he pushed me onto my back almost aggressively, diving in a hungry kiss. 

I felt a little dizzy at the sudden loose of control, but just closed my eyes and let it happen when Kento fell from my lips to kiss down my body. Full lips nibbled on my throat, making me shiver uncontrollably as he licked over my adams apple, but didn’t linger and traveled further down, over my collarbones and my chest to my stomach.

I moaned loudly , not quite having expected it when his lips closed around my shaft.

“Kento” I whimpered, my fingers knotting in his hair as he slowly went down on me, his tongue teasing the sensitive skin, and I had to use all of my self control to not just thrust into his mouth roughly because it just felt so incredibly _good._

He traced one hand down to toy with my balls softly as he went up and down on me, hollowing his cheeks, and I forgot how to breathe. 

When Kento let me fall of his mouth again, crawling up to kiss me again, I greedily pulled him into me, pressing our bodies flush against each other, making Kento moan. 

“Damn, Fuma, take me, please” he whispered against my lips, and with a low groan I rolled us around so that I was on top again.

“I would have already if you weren’t such a fucking tease” I grumbled, silencing his response with a rough kiss, which turned softer the longer it lasted. 

My hands traced down his sides and his hips to his thighs, gentle spreading them while thinking. 

“Do you have anything?” I asked slowly, looking up at him nervously. “Lube or-“

His wide eyes were enough as an answer and I nodded in understanding.

“It’s okay, I’ll… handle it somehow” I murmured, trying not to flush as I attached my lips to the skin of his inner thighs, spreading soft kisses upwards. 

When I first licked along the sensitive skin of his slid, Kento moaned and jerked so violently that his knee almost hit me in the head, but I firmly held his hips down as I continued. His noises didn’t cease, but that only encouraged me, bringing up a finger to gently slide it into him. 

Kento was incredibly tight, clenching down on me in reflex, and it took a while until I could move my finger properly and add another one, but when I did, I bend them slightly and quickly found the spot that made Kento whimper my name in that voice, and it went straight to my own painful erection. 

“Kento” I murmured desperately as I looked up at him while working another finger inside, earning an answering moan of his name. “Kento, I need to-“

“Go ahead, please” Kento whimpered, pushing down against my fingers impatiently, and I slipped them out of him carefully before moving up to catch his lips in another desperate kiss. 

“Okay?” I asked against his lips when I pressed the head of my erection to his spit-slick hole, holding onto his shoulders tightly in search for some kind of control. 

Kento didn’t answer verbally, just kissing me even deeper and his hands tightening around my waist. I took a deep breath before carefully pushing inside. 

I felt like Kento stopped breathing the moment my tip pushed past the clenching ring of his entrance, and it worried me a little, making me halt in my movements when I was almost fully inside, looking down at him, my own panting making it difficult to speak as I brought out: “Are you okay? I-“

Kento just moaned and impatiently pushed himself down the last bit, cutting me off in a low groan. 

“Damn” I whimpered. “Kento-“

“Come on, Fuma, please move!” he begged, impatiently rolling his hips and his fingers digging into my skin harshly as I finally snapped my hips. 

I returned to his lips eagerly as I built a quick rhythm, too worked up to be able to take any more teasing, and if the noises Kento made were anything to tell by, it was the same way for him. 

Kento broke our kiss when I apparently hit a good spot inside of him, gasping my name and throwing his head back, exposing his throat for me to latch onto again while an almost unbearable pleasure built up inside of me.

I sneaked a hand between our bodies to wrap around his shaft, but Kento shakily shook his head, and so I brought my hand back to his shoulder, holding on tightly as I thrust into him just that tiny bit harder. 

It took me almost a little off guard as Kento started shaking in my arms, and with my name on his lips, he arched his back and came between our bodies. I was mesmerized by his face for a moment before his muscles clenching around me became too much and I had to close my eyes, having to work harder to push into him now. 

I was so close that I could almost taste my orgasm on the tip of my tongue, but it wasn’t until Kento leaned up to suck at my ear lobe and whisper: “Come on, Fuma, I want to feel you come inside of me…” that I finally let go, and with a gasp of his name, I stuttered to a finish, loosing myself inside of Kento.

When I came to my senses again, I was lying in Kento’s arms, with him playing softly with my drenched curls. 

“I like it when you say my first name” he said softly, and I could hear the smile in his voice. “It sounds much better than ‘Nakajima’, you know…”

I fuzzily tried to remember when exactly I had switched over, but my brain was still not quite working with me so I gave up quickly. It felt good to call him by his first name, too, somehow natural, though I had always made a fuss about it.

Kento sighed, tightening his grip on my waist and troking through my hair contently, and it was the most peaceful I had felt in a long, long time.

“We should do that more frequently” I suggested. “You know, to make you relax and all.”

“For me, or for both of us?” Kento demanded with a smile, and I grinned against the skin of his chest.

“Maybe a little bit for me as well” I admitted. “Uni is tiring.”

“Sure, uni” Kento chuckled, and the vibrations of his chest felt nice against my cheek.

“Also, it’s a good way to keep from fighting” I pointed out. 

“I see” Kento laughed good-humoredly, brushing my hair out of my face to lean down to kiss my forehead. “Well, I’m not complaining here.”

“Good” I smiled, turning my head to press my lips to his to seal the deal. 

***

When I accidentally said Kento’s first name next time at work, Shori let his lunch drop onto his lap, and Marius and Sou stopped goofing around to look at me with big eyes.

“Fuma-Kun, are you sick?!” Marius asked worriedly, and Sou and Shori exchanged pointed looks. 

I quickly slipped back to “Nakajima” then, but the dark blush on my face and Kento’s huge smirk seemed to tell them all they needed to know.

And maybe, somehow, I did not mind so much, either.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment, I'm curious to hear what you think :)


End file.
